Funerals are an important occasion that give people an opportunity to express their grief, commend their loved one into the safekeeping of God and celebrate the life of the person they have loved and lost.
They also allow the Minister an opportunity to speak of the hope and promise of eternal life we have through Jesus Christ our Lord, and the comfort of a God who said, 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.' (Matthew 5:4)
The Church of England funeral service can be adapted to suit the simplest and most intimate of gatherings, a family funeral with personally chosen music with or without Holy Communion, large gatherings with hundreds of mourners, or a full Requiem Mass.
A funeral can take place in your parish church or a crematorium. The majority of funerals use Common Worship - the service in ordinary everyday language, or you can opt for the Book of Common Prayer (BCP) which lifelong church-goers sometimes prefer.
Hymns, songs, readings, poems, a eulogy (an address about the person who has died) or a sermon can be discussed with the person planning the service and the Funeral Directors.
Sorrow and Joy
 Many funeral services contain both sorrow and joy, as grief weaves alongside happy memories of a life well lived. But there are times when death can seem untimely - even tragic - and sorrow is the overwhelming emotion, particularly in the case of accidents or the death of a young person. The funerals of children can be particularly harrowing as we expect, in our scientific age of modern medicine, that children will almost certainly have their whole lives ahead of them.
On the other hand, there are also times when a funeral can only be a beautiful celebration of the long and happy life of a 'good and faithful servant', a Christian believer who has seen length of days, having spread the love and light of Christ to their family, friends and community, in thought and word and deed.
Eternal Life
Funerals services by their very nature cause all who attend to question life, death and what comes next. A Christian funeral service reminds us that Jesus Christ lived, and died and rose again to show us the way to eternal life by following in His footsteps.
For Jesus' Himself said, 'For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.' John 3:16-17. This gift of grace, completely undeserved by any one of us, is ours to be as freely received, as it is freely given.
Naturally, this leads to thoughts about what heaven might be like, and we know little about it except that we are promised, "See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be His peoples, and God himself will be with them; He will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away." Revelation 21:3-4 This, with the promise of the restoration of creation through Christ's saving grace leads us to believe that those rare moments in which we glimpse something of God's glory in the beauty of the earth or one another, we are seeing a glimpse of heaven.
Hell is can best be explained as separation from God. Our Creator loves us beyond our imagining - enough for Jesus Christ to pour out His love and life in human form to ensure that we need never be separated from God again.
The Funeral Service
The Word
Unless music is chosen for the coffin-bearers to enter by, the service usually begins with scriptures that speak of our Christian belief in the resurrection of the dead through Jesus Christ our Lord, and the gift of eternal life that awaits us.
This is followed by a Psalm and a Gospel or New Testament reading that will give comfort and hope to those who mourn. You may be familiar with the words of Psalm 23:4 'Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me'.
Some families may chose to have a brief eulogy that speaks of the deceased's life and faith, others may chose to have a homily (short sermon) on the hope of the Christian faith, still others feel that the service speaks for itself.
The prayers are made entrusting the deceased to the loving mercy of God, and that those who mourn will be comforted. There may be a Eucharist (Holy Communion) at this point if desired.
The Committal
The committal is where the person who has died is entrusted to God's safekeeping, and we say our final 'goodbye'. It can be an intensely and emotional moment, marking the end of our earthly relationship with them, until we too pass through death to life eternal.
The Committal may take place in the Crematorium, in a cemetary or a churchyard. It is brief and the words most associated with funerals are said by the minister, 'earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.' Some people also opt for the ashes of a loved one to be buried at a later date.
Finally, the priest/minister will conclude the service with the Peace and the Blessing of all of the people gathered.
Where to Begin
The person who has died may well have left a Will outlining their funeral requests. These should be respected as far as is possible.
Contact a Funeral Director and share these requests with them.
Everyone has the right to a Christian funeral in their parish church whether or not they are regular church-goers. Contact your local parish priest, or if you do not know who this is, please telephone Church House on 01254 503070 and the receptionist will be pleased to find out for you. Most Funeral Directors also know their local clergy very well and may be able to advise you.
Parish clergy will visit you to make arrangements and will continue to support you as you come to terms with your loss.
Further Resources:
 Readings
Poems (easy to read)
Poems (classic) |
